Fallin' in Love

I miss that feeling.

I'm not really sure Rob and I are considered as anymore. What do you called one boy and one girl who are good friends and hang out alot, and although the boy wanted to be more than friends, the girl just doesn't feel that way any more? I know many still refer to him as my "boyfriend", but those are also the same who are expecting us to get back together like we always do. Just not this time. This time, it stays the way it is. We are friends. Nothing more.

What I miss, was not the old him or even the good old days where we weren't fighting, instead, it was the feeling I got when I first started crushing. The whole tongue-tied, nervous laughter and faux nonchalant mess that I become whenever he *walks into the room. I like how he*'s got me "trippin', stumblin', flippin', fumblin 'Clumsy 'cuz I'm fallin' in love". The feeling where you feel as if he was absolutely perfect (though that he before he started showing his real side).

And by all that, I don't mean just Rob (the ex), I meant all guys I've ever happened to liked the past oh say 15 years or so. I'm a pretty emotional person, so when I fall, I fall hard. And that feeling is the best feeling ever... (even better when they return the feeling, though that is just leading into another set of ranting) until they reject you. Then, it turns out, when you fall hard, you land hard too. Right into a solid chunk of concrete with barbed wires sticking out and a time bomb ticking away at the end of the wire. But if you ask me, it is still worth it.


*the given subject depending on the time and year